What should you do when someone is crying?
Nothing! Stop doing things! There is nothing you can do!
I was crying the other day, which got me thinking about writing this post. People have this way of getting so odd when someone is crying. “Hello,” they think, “this person is unhappy. How can I control them so that they feel better? Because I judge their unhappiness as unacceptable! They are not allowed to be happy, according to His Honour Judge Joe Bloggs!”
Sadness is sadness. It is not the same as suffering. If I were to choose between tears and insecurity or anxiety I’d choose tears any day. They come, they pass, and you feel clear and unburdened afterwards. Tears are a way of healing, of washing away dirt, of celebrating a beautiful thing that has come to its end with you. If you can cry without grasping onto anything, it purifies you and raises your consciousness greatly.
But people are vulnerable while they are crying. If you come to them with your desire to control their pain, it’s a great time to stifle them and stop the process being a clean one.
If you want to help people who are sad, do nothing. Just be there with them. Don’t say, for instance, “everything will be okay,” unless you feel like that’s something they need to hear. Don’t reason with them. There is no problem that needs solving! There is just a process that needs to pass, a wound that needs to heal – on its own. Give the person space, according to what you feel they need, and say nothing of importance. Say or think “I love you” or cast that energy into them, and just give them your warmth while the rain falls.
